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Mandarin Pathways
Culture & pragmatics

Restaurant etiquette

At a group meal, whoever invited everyone (or the most senior person present) typically orders for the table — often asking each guest's preferences and any dietary restrictions first, then ordering family-style dishes to share. It's normal etiquette to order slightly more than the table can finish rather than too little; an empty table looks stingy, while leftovers are completely fine.

请客 (treating/inviting) means whoever invited pays, and this is the strong default — offering to split the bill (AA制) with an elder, a boss, or someone hosting you for the first time can come across as refusing their hospitality. AA制 is increasingly normal among peers and younger urban friends, but it's usually the group's own custom to establish, not something a guest should propose to a host. Expect a ritual scramble for the bill (抢着买单) at the end of a meal — the real payer often insists loudly or physically takes the receipt from the server first; graciously thank them and reciprocate by hosting next time (还请) rather than truly fighting for it.

Toasting (敬酒) follows its own hierarchy: when clinking glasses with someone more senior or more honored than you, lower the rim of your glass slightly below theirs as a sign of respect. 干杯 means a full 'bottoms up,' while saying 随意 ('as you like') when toasting lets you sip instead, without anyone losing face. At business dinners, expect repeated toasting rounds — table hosts often go around toasting each guest individually.

Useful phrases

Quick tips

  • Whoever invites is expected to order and pay by default — don't propose splitting with an elder or first-time host.
  • Order a bit more food than needed rather than too little.
  • When toasting someone senior, keep your glass rim lower than theirs; say 随意 if you'd rather sip than down it.

Say it

Listen first, then reveal to check yourself.